I wish I could find a direct link to this story, but here my retelling of it anyways…


“I have some pretty good stories from when I used to coach minor hockey in Ottawa back in the early eighties. This one year I was assistant coach of a pretty good Peewee team, the head coach was a military guy by the name of Richard who could kept everybody on the team in line but his son. I tried to help and settle the kid down but he clearly was the kind of kid who marched to the beat of their own drummer. So one I walk in before a game and coach Richard, with his military buzz-cut, is furious with his son Tom because he forgot his cooperalls (as I said, it was the early eighties) at home, and the time it would take to go back and get them the game would pretty much be over.

I told Richard to just go ahead home and I’d handle the bench by myself that day, but he said that he had reminded his son to check his bag twice before they left for the long drive to hockey, and that as punishment for not listening he’ll just have to watch the game from the sidelines. So we shot the shit as usual when the kids came out for the warmup, until Richard barks out “Goddammit Tom! What the fuck is he doing out there?”. I turn around to see his kid skating around the rink bare-assed, with all his gear on except for of course the cooperalls he forgot at home. Richard immediately starts yelling for Tom to get off the ice, except Tom just pretends he doesn’t hear him and keeps skating around with the kids on the ice all having a good laugh. Finally he stays out there long enough that the parents and everyone are pretty damn embarassed before Richard runs out and physically pulls him off the ice, giving him hell while doing it. I try to keep a straight face when they go by me on way to the dressing room, but Tom has a blank expression on his face and just says, “Well Dad, I still wanted to play…” and I can’t keep it in any longer and just burst out laughing… The kicker of the story? Tom’s last name was Green.